Dear My Online Dating Consultant,
I read your article last week in the Unfinished Man about dating after a divorce. I am in that situation and wondered if you recommend including my son in my profile pictures or writing about him in my profile.
Thanks in advance,
Thanks for sending along a question that many of my divorced readers may be also asking themselves.
Including a child from a previous marriage in your new single life can be a confusing endeavor. Some men fear that women will be turned off by the fact that they have a child or be reluctant to date a man who might not be willing to give them their entire attention.
When it comes to online dating, I do not recommend including photos of your child in your profile. The profile photos should be about you and including your child is unnecessary. She has to be inspired and attracted to you first and foremost. If you connect with someone, there will be plenty of time to share pictures of your little man when the time is right.
From a security perspective, it’s dangerous to post photos of your child in such a public forum. Online dating is extremely mainstreamed now, but there are still some scary people out there and it’s best to keep your child insulated from any potential danger.
However, I do recommend you be honest about the fact that you have a child. It is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of or a point that should be covered up. You are proud of your kid and he’s a major part of your life. He should be presented like any other key attribute is about you.
Remember that the profile is about you and not your child. Position your child as the source of inspiration or joy that he is and state simply that he’s a part of your life. This puts you in a positive light, shares the reality of your situation and like any other quality…will inspire those that will be into you and turn off those that won’t. Your date has the right to know.
The added bonus of owning the fact that you have a child is that you’ll be more comfortable emailing, talking with and ultimately meeting a woman who is aware of your situation. If you love your child and are involved in his life, you’re bound to occasionally bring him up in conversation. You won’t want to have to worry about letting something slip about him when you’re getting to know someone. This will allow you to relax and be yourself through your interactions.
As I tell all of my clients, own who you are and don’t be afraid to present that in your profile and in your approach. Let the people who will be put off by who you truly are be turned off and let those that will truly dig what you are all about find their way to you. Simple enough, right?
If you’d like to become a client of My Online Dating Consultant we can work through how you present yourself and your process. I can also help you define what you want and implement a strategy that is time efficient and leads to better interactions.
Please feel free to let me know if you have any questions about my company and services.
In the interim, please feel free to peruse the following free resources:
The My Online Dating Consultant Blog (My Readers’ Questions Answered):
My Weekly Article (Thursdays) in The Unfinished Man Men’s Magazine:
CEO/Founder of My Online Dating Consultant